My mother told me that the best journey in life is the one that takes us back home!

I must be dreaming . . .

As I am entering the fortified gates of the Philippine Military Academy (PMA), the feeling of nostalgia wraps me intensely with memories of hardship. I remember summer camp, when I was a plebe carrying a 10-pound Garand rifle, making U-turns during road runs at this very same spot near the sentry. The start of the accent always made me suffer the mental anguish of negativity that I cannot make it. If I slow down or walk, I can hear the bellows of plebe details, “Kayang kaya yan!” (You can make it!) but the whisper from my squad leader telling me: if I will be left behind, I have to report to him after the road run and get extra mashemashe (exercise). Those words always made me endure and keep pushing!

I can see at my right side through the windshield of my black Toyota Innova staff car a welcome sign billboard for my arrival:

WELCOME

BGEN JESUS IRVING, SIGNAL CORPS

The Assistant Deputy Chief of Staff 

Communications, Electronics and Information Systems 

For Testimonial Parade and Review.

A white Military Police jeep, with a sign at the back “Follow Me” is waiting at the guardhouse and starting to move. My driver tailgates . . .

THIS IS THE DAY!

All alumni are looking forward to the day of their homecoming as triumphant victors of a successful military career, becoming a general – getting ultimately the elusive star . . .

Listen to this! A testimony that I saw in Facebook coming from an upperclassman:

“After getting my star rank, I have had so many military honors given to me. However, there was one thing I have wanted and dreamed of – that of being given an honor and to troop the line in the parade of the PMA cadet corps.  Being a graduate of PMA, I have always dreamed since my cadet days that someday I will be standing at the center of the grandstand as the guest of honor of the cadet corps. By the way, not all Generals let alone other graduates from the Academy are accorded the military honors and parades by the cadet corps. This dream came to reality when I got an invitation from the Superintendent that I will be given a retirement testimonial honors and parades at Philippine Military Academy. On the D-day, I stood tall as the honors started rendered by BRAVO company the company where we belong with the Supe when we were plebes up to the time, I took an extended vacation and joined two classes below. During the parade and review, I opted to walk during the trooping of the line instead of riding the “white carabao” (trooping car) in spite of the chronic arthritis I had on my knees. This was the last Military Honors I have received before I finally hung up my military uniform after serving the country for 36 years a few days later.” BGen Gregorio G. Paduganan ’78

For me, my career was not a fairy tale. Barely a year as a second lieutenant, my battalion was massacred in a far-flung island, where 119 soldiers, to include the battalion commander, were slaughtered. My radioman beside me was hit by a sniper and died in my arms. On one occasion at nighttime, I was wounded in an ambush by Muslim rebels. My new battalion Commander on a separate vehicle was able to escape and left me behind, inside the “killing-zone”, for dead. Then as a newly married first lieutenant, I was apprehended, imprisoned and court martialed for Article of War #94, in performance of my sworn duties. My wife had a miscarriage with our first child because of the frightening news that she cannot handle. When the air cleared and the case was dismissed, I decided to leave the infantry and joined the Signal Corps. I was aware that there will be fewer stars in contention in a technical career; but with a trade off that there would be less worries for my wife and future family. My classmates left me behind in terms of promotions and designations. I endured being bypassed for promotion twice. I was in the crossroad, on deep thoughts whether to continue or leave the service (This was the time I got the idea to apply as skilled worker for Canada). When I saw the Medal-of-Valor recipient, Colonel Ariel Querubin ’78, at DND, he told me – to hang on! At the twilight of my career, I was almost sidelined for promotion to general when the new Commander-in-Chief and Secretary of Defense played favorites. I was compelled to write the essay entitled, “False Hope’ (about favoritism in the AFP); and posted it in Facebook wall of the Department of National Defense. Broadcast and broadsheet press picked what I did and made it into a big issue. JAGO accused me of a cybercrime. The AFP Chief-of-Staff reprimanded me for violation of an SOP about disregarding the AFP Grievance Systems. With a reprimand, I cannot be promoted to the next higher rank within a year, and I am running out of time . . . but my prayers, through the intercession of Our Lady of Peñafrancia, prevailed and were granted! So, here I am, I am going home to my alma mater as a victorious general with a parade and review; and the great honor to dine with the cadets and deliver an inspirational talk before them at the mess hall after lunch.

My wife, mother and two children are all with me inside the staff car. My son, Cadet First Class Kevin Dwight, is waiting for me infront of the flagpole near the sundial. He is the Company Commander of Golf Company designated to act as the Honor Guard Commander (HGC). He is ready with his troop to welcome me home before I proceed to the grandstand for the parade and review . . .

The staff car stops Infront of Melchor Hall. As I alight from the car, the Commandant of Cadets, Brigadier General Carlos “Caloy” Quita ’83 (a snappy plebe when I was his firstie), greets me with a salute and escorts me to the waiting troops. He volunteered to be the “Host”, even protocol dictates that Hosts must be one rank lower to the “Guests”.

The honor guard is initially at parade rest but when my son, Kevin, sees me, he exitedly brings his unit to attention. Caloy and I walk in front of the honor guard company and stand on the prepositioned dais. When I take my position, my son faces about and commands, “TANGHAL TA!”, then he faces about again and presents sword together with his Staff, while I execute my snappiest hand salute.

Several ruffles and flourishes are played by the band then followed by the National Anthem. As the anthem is playing, my tears begin to flow unabashedly on my face. I remain still and not moving to wipe them away as my mind is travelling back in time remembering plebehood and cadetship: the exercises along the hallway, the compliances and recitations of plebe knowledges at the mess hall, escape and evasion from magan (horrible) upperclassmen, the enjoyable late for mess, dozings inside the classrooms, the energy we get from “bukayo” (coconut sweets), the joy of cinnamons and tru-orange at fourth class club (beneath De Leon’s Tailoring), direct questions, endless “Take your post!”, foraging food at the kitchen and having “supots” (paper bags), trading picture cards of girls, bridging and being electrocuted between bunks, how metal protectors and shoe brushes give pain, writing letters for upperclassmen, countless boodlefights, Kings of Barracks, preparations made for “Thanksgiving Days”, the Pantabangan accident, the ostracization by the corps of our squad leader who cheated in class, the concerted action of upperclassmen and their touring rounds at the parade ground – watching them and leaving us, plebes, time to enjoy ourselves hehe! . . . it all came into a flash!

Perhaps, the same feelings Olympic players had when they won gold medals and their national anthem were being played during awarding ceremonies. They cry because their hardship paid off and now being gladly recognized!

After the last note of the music, Kevin carries his sword with his Staff then faces about and commands, “BABA TA!” He faces about again and salutes me saying, ”ITAY, HANDA NAPO ANG TANOD PANDANGAL UPANG LIBUTIN”.

I acknowledge the salute and step down with the Host, Caloy. Kevin carries his sword and escorts me with Caloy taking position at my right side, for the inspection of the honor guards. Upon approaching the band, the Host switches his position to the right of the HGC – to give way for me to be closer to the cadet honor guards. As we approach the colors and six paces before it, Kevin commands, “TANGHAL TA!” He then presents his sword while Caloy and I execute hand salutes for the Philippine flag. Three steps after the colors, Kevin commands, “BABA TA!”. Kevin executes carry sword while Caloy and I drop our hands. We continue marching up to the point where my son peels off from us, and proceeds to his position in front of his Staff. Caloy switches his position to my left and we march directly to our original position at the dais. At this point, Kevin executes about face and salutes me saying, “ITAY, TAPOS NA PO ANG PARANGAL”. I acknowledge the salute and say, “ANAK, MANGYARING LUMAPIT KA”. My son executes carry-and-return sword, then steps forward as he halts two steps infront of me and salutes. I wish to embrace him but restrain myself, instead, I acknowledge the salute and we both drop our hands. I, then, extend my right hand to shake hands with my son who takes one step forward to acknowledge the gesture by me saying, “MARAMING SALAMAT ANAK AT IPAABOT MO SAYONG KASAMAHAN ANG AKING TAIMTIM NA PASASALAMAT.” After handshake, Kevin salutes me, faces about and returns to his position. Again, he executes about face and draws sword.

Caloy and I face each other, and he salutes me. I return the salute and we shake hands.

As I turned my back, I can hear Kevin saying, “MGA KASAMA, IPINAPAABOT NG AKING MAHAL NA AMA, NA PANAUHIN PANGDANGAL, HENERAL JESUS IRVING, SIGNAL CORPS, ANG KANYANG TAIMTIM NA PUSO PASASALAMAT NA PARANGAL NA IGINAWAD NATIN SA KANYA NGAYON UMAGA.”

Then, I woke up from my dream . . . 

[The End]

The Testimonial Ceremony never happened! It was a matter of wrong timing; because during my entire term as general, from the time I got promoted until to the time I retired, the Superintendent at PMA was someone who declared an edict that testimonial honors at PMA will only be given to military personnel with the ranks of O-8 (two-star) and above. Meaning, O-7 or one-star generals are no longer entitled to have testimonial parades; and to include any ranks from the police and coast guards, who are considered not members anymore of the AFP. * (Please see Footnote)

With this declaration, there are 97 alumni – generals and flag officers from the AFP, PNP and PCG who became broken-hearted! I can enumerate them all, if asked.

One of them is our AFP historian who have been looking forward to his homecoming. He is a proud son of an enlistedman, a former bugler at PMA.

I envy those one-star generals who did not suffer the pain and regrets, who got their stars before or after the term of the Superintendent that I mentioned. So when a mistah became the Superintendent of PMA, he scheduled and rendered testimonial parades to all classmates even the retirement is still far away.

I cannot bring back time. A lost opportunity for a very rare occurrence to witness a father and son giving and receiving military honours. This thing could happen only once in a blue moon; or like a planetary eclipse that appears only every after a thousand of years. I might just, as well, express my regrets in an essay!

EPILOGUE:

The usual me cannot resist telling the “superintendent” my sentiments. We are both retired and civilians now. He was my “very kind” yearling squadmate who never laid his fist on me; I relieved him as Company Commander of Alfa Company at 31st Infantry (Charge) Battalion, based at Indanan, Jolo; I followed him at AFP Computer Systems Center in GHQ, as his deputy in the Directorate for Systems Development; we both went together to G5, the Office of the Assistant Chief of Staff for Plans at the Army Headquarters; then, we separated our ways when I joined the Signal Corps…

He was the one who reached out, when he remembered me during the 40th anniversary of the Pata Massacre.

So, I told him that my family is mad at him but I do not harbour any ill-feelings towards him. I thank him for how he treated me as a plebe when he was my yearling squadmate. I remember him saving me when my classmates and I were having a rough moment with yearlings in their cubicle at Melchor Hall, he took me away by riding piggyback and slowly heading to the doorway; reaching the hallway, he let me run back to my room as fast as I could. He wrote telling me:

I’m fine Jess…. Just remembered you in our old age.

Ganun yata ang tumatanda. Reminiscing yesterdays.

I’m sincerely sorry if you and your family’s feelings were hurt on the No Testimonial Parade thing… I greatly appreciate your openness Jess.

It was a matter of the academy implementing a GHQ instruction that was issued October 2007. It was not a personal act on my part. I knew very well that it was an unpopular thing to do but I sacrificed popularity and thus solicited scorn and detraction from many … I stood on it because I felt I had no business telling young cadets to follow instructions when I could not.

It caused a backlash on my career and a lot of friends were lost in silence … but it was well worth it… I chose integrity over popularity. Pag inulit ang history, ganoon pa rin ang action ko Jess. Now that we are becoming much older I could reflect back and feel happy for having stood the ground.

Ironically Jess Dellosa overturned the GHQ edict when he was already feeling the pressure from the Police Peemayers. And the frequent testimonials resumed.

That’s a long explanation from your Kuya Fred… If I lost you, Kevin and Blue as my friends for somewhere in time… I hope we could be friends again.

I wrote back insinuating, we will be friends forever! I continued that I am now settled in Canada where my skill in computer is well appreciated. Then, he replied:

Great! That’s what the heavens have for us. Twists and turns in life that give it color.

Alam mo Jess, isang na-realize ko sa military service sa atin ay yung relativity between rank and character…. many times they’re not congruent but rather skewed. So being a Colonel or even lower may even be more respectable than a lot of generals.

Thus I learned to respect our colleagues for character and not for rank. And started treating those younger than us as brothers instead of subordinates. There had also been times that I became rude to superiors as I lost respect for their lack of integrity.

I apologize for having hazed you when we were still cadets … a problem we had with corps culture. But there was a time in Jolo when I started having that respect for you as a person and a soldier. Humility and commitment were virtues that I saw.

So much for that.

Yes, maybe someday I’ll visit Canada again. Drop by Toronto for friends and a brother and swing to Vancouver to visit you and more friends.

I would love to run and bike the mountains there during summer if I could still make it.

Hanggang dito lang muna Jess.

I know it is wrong to divulge personal and private letters. I have no permission from him to show this in public but the truth must be known …

Still, I give my outmost respect to the man, MGEN NONATO ALFREDO TADEO PERALTA JR. O-7906 AFP, I greatly value our brotherhood and camaraderie throughout the years and the years to come … my regret was not on his decision to implement the ban but for both of us, being victims of circumstances!

FOOTNOTE:

* In February 2012 Homecoming, the Academy rendered Arrival Honours to all AFP major service commanders (Army, Navy and Airforce) but refused giving the Chief of the Philippine National Police (PNP), Police General Nicanor Bartolome ‘80, and the Commandant of the Philippines Coast Guard (PCG), Admiral Edmund Tan ‘80. The Police Cavalier Association, with the support of PMAAAI, vehemently protested. The AFP Chief-of-Staff, General Jesse Dellosa ‘79, was pressured to let the Superintendent of PMA apologize personally from the Chief, PNP. With that call, I heard, the Supe went to Crame in Barong Tagalog, not in military uniform, so he would not give any chance for the CPNP to retaliate for letting him suffer with the same humiliation and snobbery of “no arrival honours” hehe. He was there in Crame as a civilian and he humbly apologized with a promise that the CPNP will receive the appropriate honours due him (as alumnus) if ever he will visit PMA again. However, the Superintendent (with more than a year to go before retirement) was relieved from his post and transferred to Tanay, Rizal as the Commanding General of the 2nd Infantry “Jungle Fighter” Division. He never got his third star. Cav Ramon Farolan of the Daily Inquirer wrote…Source: https://opinion.inquirer.net/41505/brand-new-pma-sup-retires-in-5-months