By J. Irving

I am not referring to the spicy Bicolano cuisine that most people associates the term. What I mean is the train trips, where the name was derived, that come and go to Bicol. The travel which skipped small railroad towns and stopped only at six stations in-between Legazpi and Tutuban i.e. Ligao, Naga, Sipocot, Tagkawayan, Lucena, and Paco. The end-to-end journey lasts 13 hours. My story happened in 1962, during one of the daytime trips of PNR (Philippine National Railways), when Bicol trips were still operational.

During those times, passengers knew immediately that the train was at Lucena whenever they hear hawkers selling “Espasol”, a soft chewy cylinder-shaped rice cakes that are wrapped in banana leaves. Vendors hitched the train and strolled along the aisle with baskets shouting in singsong ways, “AY ESPASOL DYAN ESPASOL”.

A farmer with his adolescent son, Junior, boarded the airconditioned carousel of the train at Naga City station. They are going to Lucena, the Espasol county. Upon reaching their seat numbers, there was a man in white polo barong seated at the window side. The farmer sat beside the man, and he let his son take the aisle seat. The man in barong introduced himself as Attorney Vic of Legaspi City. The farmer said he is just a simple farmer and the lawyer may call him – “Isong”, without any title; and introduced his son, Junior. When everyone has settled down, they exchanged small talks; and as the train rolled, their conversation dragged into dialogues with political undertones.

When the train arrived Sipocot, the lawyer still felt bored. New passengers were boarding the train. The lawyer, consequently, proposed a game to the farmer by saying: “The trip will be taking us several hours until we reach our destinations and both of us are doing nothing during this long stretch. Let me suggest that we play a game while seated – giving questions and answers. I won’t put you in the disadvantage because you will surely complain that you are no match to me in this aspect of inquisitions. I just hope that our discourse will be educational to us. Your son may even join. The rule is simple. The person who asked the question will answer his own question. If the answer to his own question is challenged and found out to be wrong, the one in play must dole out one hundred pesos (P100) and pay his opponent. For example, if I ask the question, ‘What is our national sport?’ I will answer by saying: arnis. If I said sipa, which is wrong. I will pay you one hundred pesos (P100). In this way, we all learn, to include your son.”

The lawyer asked questions mostly about law and he answered his own questions with long monologues; and then, the farmer asked questions about agricultural matters, and he answered them with one-liners. The son was listening intently, and he was learning . . . The game continued:

Lawyer: How can a person get a bone that a dog buried in a backyard without digging on top and disturbing the surface of the ground?

Farmer: Aha, better answer that one!

Lawyer: By digging from beneath the ground, at the opposite side of the earth.

Farmer: How can one dig from there?

Lawyer: Okay! Answer your question!

The farmer knew he was tricked, and he cannot do anything but pay the lawyer P100. The farmer suggested revisions in the rules of the game. He said, “Let us increase our bets. It is very hard and rarely one can win in the rules you gave. Nevertheless, I should still get a handicap because I acknowledge that you are really brighter than me. When I ask you a question that you cannot answer, you have to pay me P1,000; but when your turn comes to ask me questions and I cannot answer, I should pay you only half, which is P500. Do you accept and agree with the new rules?”

The lawyer immediately accepted the rules. Behind his mind, he was very confident that there will be no questions – he cannot answer. They shook hands (for the reason that the bet is quite a fortune in 1962).

Farmer: Since I lost recently, let me ask the first question.

Lawyer: Go ahead! Shoot . . .

Farmer: What is this prehistoric predator that has two heads, with one eye at each head, six feet, three tails, and it can fly?

Lawyer: (After one hour thinking) I give up! Here is your P1,000. What is the answer?

Farmer: I also do not know the answer either. Here is your P500.

Then both the lawyer and farmer became silent and turned their backs from each other; but the farmer was covering his smiles that he cannot resist in triumphantly winning P400; and most of all, he gave his son the best life lesson he could give – to take up agriculture in college and be like him: a wise farmer! Because the father used to say, “Once in your life, you need a lawyer, a doctor, a policeman, and a preacher. But every day, three times a day, you need a farmer”. The train stopped and they start hearing voices, “AY ESPASOL DYAN ESPASOL”, the cue for the father and son that they have reached their destination; and so they disembarked from the train, leaving the lawyer wondering what hit him and losing the chance to win back … 😊

– T H E E N D –